Wedding plan issues or the mother-in-law can't be pleased
Posted 12 April 2010 - 08:57 AM
The overall theme of the wedding is basically country back-yard cook out. The way my family is whenever we have a gathering everyone brings some kind of food. The same with several of my friends. They actually feel insulted if we don't ask them to bring anything. We already told everyone our plans and the only ones opposing it are her parents. We have the invitations made and just need to mail them out. On the invitations we are asking people to bring a dish to pass. Her mother thinks it is rude that we are asking people to bring a dish and a gift. Because we already have pretty much everything the gift registries we did are basically stuff that would be nice to have. If we don't get anything it is no big deal.
Her parents are also concerned that we do not have enough time to get everything finished, or so they say. They are pushing us to scrap all our plans and re-do everything. That means rent a hall, hire a caterer, reprint the invitations, and confuse everyone we are inviting.
Ultimately we are going to do what we want to do. That means we are basically going to upset her parents and do the cook out theme at our place. Just curious to see how others would handle the situation.
For clarification the ceremony is June 26 and we have been making plans since January. When we told everyone that is was a backyard cook out theme everyone suggested having people bring a dish to pass. This is actually my second marriage and her first marriage. Due to a few issues her pastor had we actually did the legal stuff on April 2 and we are doing a celebration on June 26. Basically we have been living together since November and currently only one care between us. She is working full time and I have been getting unemployment since March.
Posted 12 April 2010 - 09:18 AM
Posted 12 April 2010 - 10:00 AM
Pot luck? Sounds great! My brother did basically that. All the in laws brought something. The bride even cooked! Made for a nice meal. It isn't expensive to bring a dish. Sounds like only your inlaws are complaining.
My wedding cost about $800 all told. That includes tux rentals, bridesmaid dresses, wedding dress, food, flowers, and everything. How did we do it? We asked for favors from friends and family. Why the hell does a wedding have to be expensive to be fun and special? Everyone who participated in my wedding enjoyed themselves. We even had live music. The guy who played the piano, also SUNG our song! And we got him for a box of steaks. He was the husband of a co-worker. And he did awesome.
Do it your way. If you wanna have a nice, relaxed wedding, great! But do what YOU enjoy and DO NOT try to please anyone else. Its your day. If anyone can't accept that, they don't have to come.
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Posted 12 April 2010 - 10:13 AM
You're already married. This is for celebration and a party.
Posted 12 April 2010 - 11:34 AM
Your life, your wife, your wedding. I actually like the potluck idea. Might be stealing that idea myself.
This post has been edited by PistolWhipped: 12 April 2010 - 11:35 AM
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Posted 12 April 2010 - 11:48 AM
Posted 12 April 2010 - 02:09 PM
If you both are in agreement with your current plan go for it. Have your wife (congrats by the way) explain why the celebration is how it is and be there to support her. It's not worth upsetting the in-laws, but they need to understand that their daughter helped decide the style of celebration and she's the one needed to "heal the rift" as it is. Be there with her to help explain and support her but run with your plans. Few wedding planners will want to touch a date that soon and none will be cheap.
Posted 12 April 2010 - 02:14 PM
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Posted 12 April 2010 - 02:24 PM
We both came up with the whole outdoor in the woods behind my house idea together. I want to say within two weeks we pretty much had the rough idea down. It took us about another three or four weeks to finalize a few things. The hardest part is putting in the 363 ft path. After a while logs get heavy.
Posted 12 April 2010 - 03:01 PM
My cousin is doing something similar... theyre just gonna have an all-night shindig as the reception, and go on a honeymoon later. No one minds contributing to a wedding that is fun. Asking them to contribute to a stuffy indoors one would be different, but i know thats not what you have in mind.
This post has been edited by Becc: 12 April 2010 - 03:03 PM
Posted 12 April 2010 - 04:27 PM
I love the idea. Weddings should be a celebration! That doesn't have to mean some fancy reception and whatnot. Heck, if you were closer I'd show up with my Scenario Grill setup
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Posted 12 April 2010 - 05:52 PM
Plus, potluck sounds kickass. I'd bring Buffalo Wings, because how awesome would it be to have buffalo wings at a wedding?
Posted 13 April 2010 - 04:56 AM
The path we are putting in is going to be done with materials on the property. Basically logs from downed trees are making the borders and all the brush up to 2 or 3 inches is getting tossed into a wood chipper to make the fill. About the most expensive thing for the landscaping project is going to be the gas for the equipment.
MDK, knowing my family and friends someone will want to bring wings. I doubt anyone will though because of the standard thought "Who eats wings at a wedding?"