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Funny Stuff What's the funniest thing that you have ever seen on a paintball f Rate Topic: ***** 2 Votes

#166 User is offline   murdercrow 

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Posted 29 December 2008 - 06:47 PM

The last time I played at Forest Fire, it was my first day playing woodsball with the 'Mag, and I was loving it. I had just bought my Profilers as well, and it was raining that day, so I'm playing against a bunch of partially fogged up walkons and Tippmann monstrosity carrying regulars. They kept Team FF split up pretty well, and even though I wasn't on the team, I was already getting divvied up like I was.

One game I busted to the far tapeline and jumped in a bunker to catch my breath. I forget how it went exactly after that, I think I managed to weather the FF guys that went that side, but eventually I ended up pushing up that side pretty close to their base. I spot a smaller kid who I think was renting hiding in a stand of really thin-trunked trees. He sees me too, but can't seem to hit me. I post up behind a thicker one and decide that as much as I'm loving my new trigger and that I have plenty of paint to spare, I should really go easy on him. So I take a few shots and zero in on him, and see one break on his arm. He kinda falls back out of sight, and just sits there for a while. I figure he's doing the walkon-ouchie-dance, so I give him a bit to call out. Next thing I know, I'm being shot at again! So I pop off a few more, just enough to get the hit but not over do it. Out of sight. Sure enough, just a few seconds later, more paint coming my way. This goes on a few times.

By now, I'm screaming at the kid to call himself out and walk off. I think to myself, okay, I was nice. If you want to blatantly cheat like some pro, you can get lit up like one. I'd had some practice with the ULT at an indoor field in the weeks prior, so I let 'er rip pretty good. Eventually I see a little arm pop out, and a body soon follows it, and I'm pretty sure he's finally called it quits.

Then an entire pack of them walks out behind him, probably 4 or 5, and they're all covered in my blue and purple paint, looking absolutely dejected. I almost didn't make it back to the staging area. I don't take any joy out of abusing new players, which that wasn't, per se, but I couldn't believe how much of a monster 'baller I must have looked like that day.
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#167 User is offline   barnz 

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Posted 29 December 2008 - 07:31 PM

I've had lots of funny moments involving falling flat on my face or sliding way too far past my bunker haha

During a game called "D-Day" that my outlaw group plays, which is basically played in a large ditch with one team endlessly charging the other on the slopes of the hill with no cover, my team was attacking. The respawn area is just in range of the defenders, so they were all shooting at me while I stood out in the open. I was far enough away that I could see the shots coming, so I was dodging all the shots matrix-esque.

Also, just recently, I tried to do the same thing when a friend shot at me one-handed while moving, and as I tried to dodge it it just winged me. We thought it was hilarious that he could get that lucky of a shot haha.

Thats all I got now, I'll try and remember some more.
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#168 User is offline   Death Envoy 

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Posted 14 January 2009 - 08:49 PM

Well, the funniest thing with me is not at all an exaggeration. My friend and "sniper" (there are no paintball snipers, seriously) has never, in all our games, shot me. Whenever he would go to, his marker would malfunction in a way unique only to me, which would result in his inevitable yelling of a inappropriate 4-letter word. This would be followed by a quick 3-6 shots in his chest, face and legs. Hilarious.
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#169 User is offline   Spektre 

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Posted 17 March 2009 - 09:53 PM

Alright... This first story comes from way back in the glory days of my best friend and I (just the two of us when we were about 12) playing in and around my barn (old dilapidated tobacco barn) with Brass Eagle Stingrays... lol It cracks me up to think about those clear plastic guns... Anyway, we happened to be playing an attack and defend game of which I was the attacking side. After carefully skirting the edge of his possible range and coming up to a part of the barn without gaping holes I noticed that I hadn't seen or heard any signs of him... I nervously and cautiously maneuvered into the barn only to find that he was nowhere to be found. Suddenly terrified that he would jump out of some unknown hiding place I take off in a dead sprint through one of the open doors and into the long grass of the hay field to get a better vantage point. As I watch the barn for movement I hear "Surrender!" come from about 8 feet to my left... :o :rolleyes: :laugh: :dry: lol

Another time in the same place with the same cheap Walmart markers was pretty amazing but not so amusing... I know it will be impossible to believe, but it happened... My friend and I are in the barn; I'm behind a plywood bunker and my friend is about 12 feet away inside an old log cabin type thing which is inside the barn (the thing has 6-7 inch gaps between the foot tall logs). At this point I have used up all my paint except one round (he doesn't know that) and my friend is plinking away at me with his airsoft gun. I decide to just go Rambo on him and jump up from behind my bunker (as he scrambles to get his marker) and fire my last paintball at him. Miraculously it finds its mark and strikes him in the shoulder. I, feeling macho and victorious, walk over to the entrance of the log cabin thing only to be SHOT IN THE LEG FROM 6 FEET AWAY!!! I was PERTURBED! When I asked why the hell he did that he responded with: "We said we weren't gonna shoot from close range!!!" :dodgy: :huh: :o :P :dry:
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#170 User is offline   Agnoeo 

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Posted 18 March 2009 - 08:35 PM

View PostViolator, on Oct 10 2008, 08:59 PM, said:

Yep- neck shots HURT!!!

Here's another funny one with the same guy who fragged himself, Ed. We used to play in Jim Thorpe, PA from time to time (at Skirmish and another location) and one fine chilly Winter, we decided to extend our normal playing season and play some winter ball. I had my "does OK in the cold" Tippmann 68 Special, and Ed had his fairly new baby- an original-run gray Icon Z-1 from Montneel.

For you young'uns, the Z-1 was perhaps one of the finest mech markers ever made, and it was one of only a few designed to run best on LIQUID Co2. (Us old guys never had HPA back then) So, it really kicked butt in cold weather when most regular markers, even 'Cockers and Automags, could do little else else than fart and hit maybe 220fps or so. My 68 also didn't mind liquid, so I was OK.

Anyway, we figure we're going to be wise-guy "snipers," so along with his brother, we hit a surplus store and gear up with West German snow camo oversuits- white with green pine splotches. We get to the field, which is covered in about 3 feet of snow (bad winter that year) and put the cammmies on over our B.D.U.'s while one of the refs looks at us and says- "Hah. That crap isn't gonna work... you're wasting your time, blah, blah, blah." Ignoring his diss, we walk out to the first field staging area, and the ref goes into his usual pre-game rules speech, which we had heard a million times before. We were about 10 to a side, so we ringed around the ref as he spoke.

We're standing behind the ref, and slowly begin to edge away from him. Each of us picks a spot about 20-25 feet away, and we conceal ourselves. The ref turns around, and looks at another of our friends and says... "Hey... weren't there a few more of you guys? Where'd he go???" He looks around as our friends barely manage to stifle laughter, "Where'd they go?" C'mon, this isn't funny... where are you guys hiding?" He walks until he's about 15 feet away from us, and we pop up and scare the living poo out of him!

For the rest of the winter, we never got kidded about the snow camo, and our favorite phrase was "Where'd he go?"




Thats hilarious. Made me laugh out loud.

Sorry for being so long winded, i just got excited thinking of good past times.



I've got maybe not so much a funny, but an exciting story. It was 2 and half years ago 2 days befor I left for basic. So my one buddy was throwing a birthday party and he wanted to do a paintball night. So we had 4 guys with a tippy 98's one of those was his dad who was ex S.W.A.T. Me I didn't really know about it till the last second so my marker was at home, but they had an extra wally world pump. and another dude had a pistol and coulple other had just random spyders. Oh yah and we were playing at night.

We were playing in this large barn, which had 3 sections to it, the upstairs, the stable where the horses were, and then the main hallway that has some stalls, and it goes into a T with the long part heading to the horses stables. After getting sick of the wally world pump I decided to just video tape the night (which I love doing). So we had teams of 3v3 and I was following around two guys with the tipps one was the bday boy, and the other was my good friend. So we circled around through the stable area and came back through the right side of the main hallway for the barn. So the two guys I was following started talking, trying to figure and we stop at the 3 way cross. So I'm just standing there waiting for something exciting to happen, and to my disbelief, I hear some shuffling coming from the cealing, the other 2 didn't even pay any attention. The next thing I see, which till this day is probably the sickest move I've seen done in paintball, is his dad pop from the cealing hanging upside down, and opens fire. This scared the crap out of me being the one filming and at the time they were both on each side of me. Paint was flying everywhere on both sides, and not one ball hit me. That guy was a beast being able to shoot both them upside down, without one shot hitting me. It was awesome and I continued to roll and got it all on tape too. I'll have to ask them to make me a copy and I'll post it up on here.

The same night we were walking around the outside of the barn I was with the same two guys, and wasn't able to get this on camera as well, but you can hear it. This was the funny one. So there is a large door on the second floor on the outside of the barn. For some reason I was seeing everything before it happened which was good for me to stay out of the way on this. But as we were walking I looked the the barn door and for a split second I saw a small glare of moonlight bouncing off of the Dad's barrel sticking out of a crack in the door. As I started going away from the barn with the two guys behind me, I turned around getting this next little sequence.

2 guys chattering - where do you think he is?
*Squeeking of the hinge on the door*
'Me, thinking uh oh" moving away

Next thing I hear...*pop pop pop pop pop* x 3

son and the other guy scream - Omg omg ow ow OW!! We're hit, we're hit!!!! Stop shooting!

The dad stops shooting - looks at them and jumps down.

The bday kid had to sit down he was in so much pain. He had some crazy welts on him from that. A few were bleeding. We counted how many times they got shot and they each got hit 5 times. Atleast the dad did ask if his son was ok. It was just funny to hear. The whole time I'm just laughing at them.


A quick one where I was playing speedball on a homemade field using cardboard paletts from the news company in a pine tree grove. We did 3 v 3 and starting off the guy right behind me got shot instantly. So it was down to 3v2. I ran up on the left side just 20 feet short of the center castle, and saw a guy in between two trees shooting at my partner. I moved up on him and shot a few rounds going between the two trees and eliminating him. right after that my teammate got shot while trying to bunker the guy on the right. So I move to the castle unnoticed and take out the guy who was walking the snake, thinking I was down field a lot farther. We started exchanging shots and he tried to make a move on me, and I just made a nice line going from his hips to his mask. Right after eliminating him, I got hell fire from the last man who was in the center only about 30 ft infront of my position. So we started exchanging fire with one of his shots hitting a small brinch right in front of my mask and splattering me. i thought I got hit, so had my buddy paint check me, he called it clean since there was no distinct shot. Checking my hopper I saw I only had about 15 or so shots left. Figuring this would be the time to move, I shot a few balls to make him duck his head, and then made a sprint to flank him from the side. He didn't even notice me as I opened fire and somehow missing him the first few times he turned and returned fire, as I dropped to my knees I took 3 more shots at him, nailing him in the leg and torso. When I looked in my hopper...I had 1 paintball left. Also when we got done, they told me to look behind me, and one of the pallets my back was against. Had 4 shots all right above my head, had I not dropped on my knees (so to speak) and took that last stand. He would have no doubt gogged me, or atleast eliminated me for sure.

Those are probably my favorite times in paintball. Mainly because they were old highschool buddies and we didn't care that we won or lost. We just loved playing the game and talking about the awesome slide the dude made while I was trying to bunker him and got shot, or how I won a match against all odd with not a ball to spare. Thats what paintball is all about.
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#171 User is offline   LoopyDood 

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Posted 19 March 2009 - 01:06 PM

View PostAgnoeo, on Mar 18 2009, 11:35 PM, said:

I've got maybe not so much a funny, but an exciting story. It was 2 and half years ago 2 days befor I left for basic. So my one buddy was throwing a birthday party and he wanted to do a paintball night. So we had 4 guys with a tippy 98's one of those was his dad who was ex S.W.A.T. Me I didn't really know about it till the last second so my marker was at home, but they had an extra wally world pump. and another dude had a pistol and coulple other had just random spyders. Oh yah and we were playing at night.

We were playing in this large barn, which had 3 sections to it, the upstairs, the stable where the horses were, and then the main hallway that has some stalls, and it goes into a T with the long part heading to the horses stables. After getting sick of the wally world pump I decided to just video tape the night (which I love doing). So we had teams of 3v3 and I was following around two guys with the tipps one was the bday boy, and the other was my good friend. So we circled around through the stable area and came back through the right side of the main hallway for the barn. So the two guys I was following started talking, trying to figure and we stop at the 3 way cross. So I'm just standing there waiting for something exciting to happen, and to my disbelief, I hear some shuffling coming from the cealing, the other 2 didn't even pay any attention. The next thing I see, which till this day is probably the sickest move I've seen done in paintball, is his dad pop from the cealing hanging upside down, and opens fire. This scared the crap out of me being the one filming and at the time they were both on each side of me. Paint was flying everywhere on both sides, and not one ball hit me. That guy was a beast being able to shoot both them upside down, without one shot hitting me. It was awesome and I continued to roll and got it all on tape too. I'll have to ask them to make me a copy and I'll post it up on here.

It's amazing how well those things feed upside down. :mellow:
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#172 User is offline   Ispar 

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 01:04 PM

Didn't actually see this one but heard about it after the game.

Some guy had climbed up a tree trying to ambush anyone that might come his way. A small group of players were walking right past his tree when they heard the "BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrpp" of an out-of-air marker. They look up to see the guy in the tree pointing his marker at them. Nobody moves for a second and the guy in the tree just lowers his gun and goes "Hooooo, hooooo" like a bird. I don't know if those guys shot him or just kept walking. Wish I would have been there to see that.
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#173 User is offline   SIEFKA 

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Post icon  Posted 20 June 2009 - 07:14 PM

I remeber playing speedball for only my second time. At this field they used plastic bunkers and it is not very big, also they don't maintain the field or the paint well. Before the game started I said I was going to do really well and take out at least one or two. My team lines up and We all say what bunker we are going to chose. I chose this one about 20ft from me, and then move up from there. Anyways right off the bat the ref blows the whistle and I start to take off. As soon as I started sprinting I slipped on a huge mess of paintball and fell face first and got nailed all over. I stuck to woodsball from then on.
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#174 User is offline   badger nine 

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Posted 20 June 2009 - 08:09 PM

My friend and I where playing some one on one woodsball in my woods, and I went to the old tree fort my Dad and I built to defend it. Over the past hour, I had to take a whizz really badly, so I decide to go halfway up the ladder and figured I would be done and ready to take my friend out with a nice head shot before he even got close., take my gloves off and put them on the floor of the tree fort, and place my X7 there too. I then procede to take care of bussiness. Little did I know, he took a short cut, saw my X7 andmy gloves, and took a shot. I hear it hit the tree and start screaming "STOP STOP STOP! I AINT GOT MY PANTS UP! STOP!" luckily, he stops shooting, and I manage to get my pants up while laughing so hard. I was so scarred of taking a nut shot to my unprotected jewlels.
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#175 User is offline   Flippy the Wonder Bunny 

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Posted 20 June 2009 - 10:16 PM

View PostAgnoeo, on Mar 18 2009, 11:35 PM, said:

I've got maybe not so much a funny, but an exciting story. It was 2 and half years ago 2 days befor I left for basic. So my one buddy was throwing a birthday party and he wanted to do a paintball night. So we had 4 guys with a tippy 98's one of those was his dad who was ex S.W.A.T. Me I didn't really know about it till the last second so my marker was at home, but they had an extra wally world pump. and another dude had a pistol and coulple other had just random spyders. Oh yah and we were playing at night.

We were playing in this large barn, which had 3 sections to it, the upstairs, the stable where the horses were, and then the main hallway that has some stalls, and it goes into a T with the long part heading to the horses stables. After getting sick of the wally world pump I decided to just video tape the night (which I love doing). So we had teams of 3v3 and I was following around two guys with the tipps one was the bday boy, and the other was my good friend. So we circled around through the stable area and came back through the right side of the main hallway for the barn. So the two guys I was following started talking, trying to figure and we stop at the 3 way cross. So I'm just standing there waiting for something exciting to happen, and to my disbelief, I hear some shuffling coming from the cealing, the other 2 didn't even pay any attention. The next thing I see, which till this day is probably the sickest move I've seen done in paintball, is his dad pop from the cealing hanging upside down, and opens fire. This scared the crap out of me being the one filming and at the time they were both on each side of me. Paint was flying everywhere on both sides, and not one ball hit me. That guy was a beast being able to shoot both them upside down, without one shot hitting me. It was awesome and I continued to roll and got it all on tape too. I'll have to ask them to make me a copy and I'll post it up on here.

Until I see a video I have to call shens.
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#176 User is offline   badger nine 

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Posted 22 June 2009 - 05:39 PM

Yesterday some kid made a move to sprint to a nice hyperball tube on its side to try and get some of the other team members out, during his run across, he gets hit twice, once in the side and right in nads. As this is going on he trys to slide into the bunker, but once the nutshot impacts, his slide goes wrong and he ends up rolling on his side terriably. After about ten minutes of major pain in the deadzone, he finally gets ready to go playing again, but for the rest of the day, whenever he made a move, he would hold his X7 in his right hand, and cover his nads with his left.

That kid was me. I have learned to always wear my cup when I go paintballing.
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#177 User is offline   Perinhawk 

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Posted 26 June 2009 - 05:37 PM

I was taking a few friends out paintballing, some for their first time, and I was playing an attack and defend game. We were the attackers, and I was behind a bunker that only fit two, with another person. One of the first timers came up to the bunker, "hid" on a part of the bunker that was completely exposed to fire from the fort. He got shot, it bounced, he drops on the ground and starts rolling, getting shot two more times and losing the contents of his hopper. Somehow, those two shots bounced too, so he asked for one of my pods, filled his hopper, and found better cover, and was shot one more time, and this time it broke.
Later that day, we played a game of hyperball on a small field and I literally saw 7 people in a row hiding behind the home bunker throughout the entire game.
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