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Paintball: Colorado's Alternative School Sport Argumentative paper I wrote for english comp. Rate Topic: -----

#1 User is offline   Bloody Beetroot 

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Posted 11 December 2009 - 08:45 AM

Attached File  Argument2.doc (31.5K)
Number of downloads: 19
Attached File  Annotation.doc (23K)
Number of downloads: 6

Tell me what you guys think of this. The paper had to be a topic that related to the state of colorado, but other than that, we could write about anything on those grounds, so naturally I chose paintball. I threw in the works cited page so you guys can see what I found helpful.
I just turned it in today for my final paper assignment. Semester is now over Woohoo!!!
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#2 User is offline   ghostinthewood 

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Posted 11 December 2009 - 09:11 AM

You couldve dispelled the stigma of violence a lot better but it was alright.
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#3 User is offline   Bloody Beetroot 

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Posted 11 December 2009 - 09:25 AM

View Postghostinthewood, on Dec 11 2009, 09:11 AM, said:

You couldve dispelled the stigma of violence a lot better but it was alright.


Thanks man. Yeah I suppose I could've gone more in depth on that part. Any suggestions for that?
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#4 User is offline   stinkfingr 

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Posted 11 December 2009 - 09:35 AM

overall a good paper ..... it will be interesting to see how your teacher receives it and what comments, if any, they put on it.
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#5 User is offline   dextonik 

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Posted 12 December 2009 - 06:16 PM

That wasn't too shabby. not too shabby at all.

I did a paintball report/ argument in english for two years freshman and sophomor year. That pee shooting cow pie eating nazi of an english teacher gave me an F on two different reports. I did a damn good job on those two. better then any other report I did. She said that I was a war hungry monger that was trying to promote violence. I still get upset to this day about it. GARRRRR MRAAHHHHH.

Oh well what can I do. Hopfully your teacher is more opended minded about this sport then mine was.
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#6 User is offline   Cuy'val Dar  

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Posted 12 December 2009 - 10:03 PM

View Postdextonik, on Dec 12 2009, 07:16 PM, said:

That wasn't too shabby. not too shabby at all.

I did a paintball report/ argument in english for two years freshman and sophomor year. That pee shooting cow pie eating nazi of an english teacher gave me an F on two different reports. I did a damn good job on those two. better then any other report I did. She said that I was a war hungry monger that was trying to promote violence. I still get upset to this day about it. GARRRRR MRAAHHHHH.

Oh well what can I do. Hopfully your teacher is more opended minded about this sport then mine was.


Dex, something similar happened to me this year. I had a persuasive essay and i did it on this topic. Then after getting an F on it, for my informative essay i wrote about ignorant and narrow minded teachers. :dodgy: when i got an F on that i went to the principle, who looked them over and saw nothing wrong with them and advised my english teacher that she take another look at my papers before final grades were due.

On topic, the paper was well written i am also curios as to what the out come may be. best of luck to ya!

This post has been edited by pvt. Leonard L. Church: 12 December 2009 - 10:29 PM

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#7 User is offline   dextonik 

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Posted 13 December 2009 - 12:05 AM

View Postpvt. Leonard L. Church, on Dec 12 2009, 10:03 PM, said:

View Postdextonik, on Dec 12 2009, 07:16 PM, said:

That wasn't too shabby. not too shabby at all.

I did a paintball report/ argument in english for two years freshman and sophomor year. That pee shooting cow pie eating nazi of an english teacher gave me an F on two different reports. I did a damn good job on those two. better then any other report I did. She said that I was a war hungry monger that was trying to promote violence. I still get upset to this day about it. GARRRRR MRAAHHHHH.

Oh well what can I do. Hopfully your teacher is more opended minded about this sport then mine was.


Dex, something similar happened to me this year. I had a persuasive essay and i did it on this topic. Then after getting an F on it, for my informative essay i wrote about ignorant and narrow minded teachers. ;) when i got an F on that i went to the principle, who looked them over and saw nothing wrong with them and advised my english teacher that she take another look at my papers before final grades were due.

On topic, the paper was well written i am also curios as to what the out come may be. best of luck to ya!

ROFL Thats Awsome! I only wish I though about doing a report on ignorant and narrow minded teachers. My highschool principal used to let me bring my a-5 and my gear into he's office during school hours and let me pick them up after school was out. I only wish I did what you did. instead I complained to my dad about it which did nothing.

Toad...give us an update on you report I'd like to hear the outcome as well.
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#8 User is offline   Bloody Beetroot 

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Posted 13 December 2009 - 09:51 AM

I should get my paper back tomorrow, but I also did a smaller paper about basics of paintball for the same class.

Attached File  Paintball2.doc (27.5K)
Number of downloads: 5

I think I softened him up with this one. The comment he wrote for it was "An interesting paper and approach. Nicely Done. The casual tone is good here. Watch the language use; too casual or flippant can put some readers off."
He scored me a 92/100 on it! A paper!

OK I just got out of my english class! My teacher commented: "You have a strong thesis and good support, but your ideas are jumpy and lack clear connections."
He seemed like he really liked my ideas when i first showed him my thesis.
He gave me 170/200. Not bad I guess huh? lol

This post has been edited by ghostinthewood: 14 December 2009 - 11:45 AM

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#9 User is offline   ghostinthewood 

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Posted 14 December 2009 - 11:47 AM

See, you kiddies are just paranoid. Teachers knew better than to argue with me. I'm always right. You'll learn this if you havnt already. Some kids wanted to bring their paintball guns in for demonstration speeches or hobby speeches and their teachers wouldnt let them so a handful (all different classes/kids) came to me. I talked to the teachers and principal. It ended up that they either had to drop it off at the office or bring it in before school and leave it in their locker.
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