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Funerals Your opinion Rate Topic: -----

#16 User is offline   -Hoot- 

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Posted 23 July 2007 - 09:15 PM

I hate goin to um but I do cause I know ill be there one day and I want a dern lot people see me get buried
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#17 User is offline   Shalashaska 

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Posted 23 July 2007 - 09:44 PM

For my family funerals are a time of rememberence instead of true mourning. Sure everyone is crying for a while, but then everyone just starts remembering and then along the way someone brings out the scotch and whiskey, maybe a little rum. So it turns more into a celebration of life, than a mouring of death. So I don't mind going to funerals of my family, but as for other non family people, they would have to be close friends or somthing.

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This post has been edited by Shalashaska: 23 July 2007 - 09:45 PM

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#18 User is offline   Phantom Flanker 

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Posted 23 July 2007 - 09:56 PM

i don't go really ever i've only been to one.

I don't get why its necessary to dress the person up and look at them as a corpse in front of you. I would rather have a passing on party where you can share memories and stories of the person you cared about. Pass on the memories instead of morn them.
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#19 User is offline   e-rok 

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Posted 23 July 2007 - 09:58 PM

View Posthalfro-Tippmann Forever, on Jul 23 2007, 09:58 PM, said:

i put the "fun" in funerals!!!


Shalashaska


Ya im a pro funeral crasher, I like to wait untill the actual imediatefamily is about to view the body then BAM I bust into the joint with an ice cold keg of Heiny to cheer everyone up and save the dad the embarasment of crying in public. It realy turns the frowns upside down.

I almost feel bad for writing this
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#20 User is offline   slinkyaroo 

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Posted 23 July 2007 - 10:43 PM

View Poste-rok, on Jul 24 2007, 12:58 AM, said:

View Posthalfro-Tippmann Forever, on Jul 23 2007, 09:58 PM, said:

i put the "fun" in funerals!!!


Shalashaska


Ya im a pro funeral crasher, I like to wait untill the actual imediatefamily is about to view the body then BAM I bust into the joint with an ice cold keg of Heiny to cheer everyone up and save the dad the embarasment of crying in public. It realy turns the frowns upside down.

I almost feel bad for writing this



^^^^ I don't know if this is dodgy or no dodgy.

Anyways I do have it in my will to buy all the attendants at my funeral a drink on me.



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This post has been edited by slinkyaroo: 23 July 2007 - 10:43 PM

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#21 User is offline   Pirate 

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Posted 23 July 2007 - 10:53 PM

View PostMaj Tom, on Jul 23 2007, 05:43 PM, said:

Only been to my grandfather's funeral (mom's dad) as a pole bearer. Then was periodically insulted as a heartless"fatherless man" due to my lack of emotion during the service. The only other funeral I was asked to attend was of my brothers then girl friend who died in a car crash. I didn't attend since I barely knew her, and my brother didn't speak to me for a week or so after. The way I see it damned if I do, damned if I don't.

Anyway I don't like to go to funerals. But in your circumstance it may be your co worker's are being very supportive to your boss and his loss or my have a alternate agenda.

I know the feeling.
I've cried at one funeral I've been (unfortunately, I've gone to 6). It was for one of my friends who was killed in the VT shootings.

My take on funerals is this. If you are invited, you go. If you know the person or not, if someone asks you, it means THEY want you there. I discovered this one when my sort-of girlfriend asked me to go to her grandmothers funeral, and I went to a baseball game instead. She didn't talk to me for a month, and now doesn't talk to me as often as she used to (this was two years ago).

If you know a family member or friend of the deceased, you go to show your support for them. Sit in the back though. Front is for those that actually know the person.

If you don't know anyone involved with the funeral, you probably shouldn't go. However, it is fun to go and pretend you knew the person, then have everyone thinking 'Who is that guy'. It takes there minds off the loss. (Disclaimer: Probably not a good idea. Only did it once, and that's because I went to the wrong church).
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#22 User is offline   Hell Rider 

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Posted 24 July 2007 - 06:55 AM

I have been to over 25 funerals. Most of them I know, but people will ask me and my brother if we will serve at their loved ones funeral. I am home schooled so I can take a couple hours off to do it. It's not that bad sometimes i get paid to do it but most importantly i get to stay and eat the food.
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#23 User is offline   Faulty Logic 

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Posted 24 July 2007 - 07:11 AM

Even if you guys don't actually know the person, but the family who does I would advise you to go. I remember going to my Dad's funeral, and some of my teachers from school were there. It was weird, as they never met him, but it made me feel better because I knew they were there for my family and I. That made me feel good. Even if you don't know too many of the people there it doesn't matter, because it proves that there are people who care about you, and are doing the least bit to try and make you feel better. Basically it shows you that they are giving you support.

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#24 User is offline   Puzuma 

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Posted 24 July 2007 - 07:29 AM

I agree with you DVCHLD. You never met the guy. Why go?
Show support? Sorry if this sounds cold, but the guy is dead he needs no support. Support the family? Why? Is it your family? No. All you need to do is offer your condolences to your boss at work. If you wanted to you could give him a sympathy card.
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#25 User is offline   Elfonso 

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Posted 24 July 2007 - 07:44 AM

I agree with Punza.

But if you really want to show "show support", just look straight at your supervisor and sincerely say, "I am sorry about your Dad," and maybe offer him some help if he ever needs it. Someone close to me passes away, that is probably the best thing I could possiblely hear from anyone.

But I won't show up to the funeral...
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#26 User is offline   Warpaint 

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Posted 24 July 2007 - 08:59 AM

For the most part, I think you should do what you feel compelled to do...how you feel will be based upon your relationship or association with the deceased, or the family/friends of the deceased. If you go, you are paying your final respects to the dead (if you knew them), and extending your sympathies to the mourning (a show of support). If you did not know the deceased, and only have a working relationship with the supervisor of the deceased, a sympathy card or flowers are appropriate.


From Emily Post, world-renowned authority on etiquette...

OBLIGATIONS OF PRESENCE AT FUNERALS

Upon reading the death notice of a mere acquaintance you may leave your card at the house, if you feel so inclined, or you may merely send your card.
Upon the death of an intimate acquaintance or friend you should go at once to the house, write, “With sympathy” on your card and leave it at the door. Or you should write a letter to the family; in either case, you send flowers addressed to the nearest relative. On the card accompanying the flowers, you write, “With sympathy,” “With deepest sympathy,” or “With heartfelt sympathy,” or “With love and sympathy.” If there is a notice in the papers “requesting no flowers be sent,” you send them only if you are a very intimate friend.
Or if you prefer, send a few flowers with a note, immediately after the funeral, to the member of the family who is particularly your friend.
If the notice says “funeral private” you do not go unless you have received a message from the family that you are expected, or unless you are such an intimate friend that you know you are expected without being asked. Where a general notice is published in the paper, it is proper and fitting that you should show sympathy by going to the funeral, even though you had little more than a visiting acquaintance with the family. You should not leave cards nor go to a funeral of a person with whom you have not in any way been associated or to whose house you have never been asked.
But it is heartless and delinquent if you do not go to the funeral of one with whom you were associated in business or other interests, or to whose house you were often invited, or where you are a friend of the immediate members of the family.
You should wear black clothes if you have them, or if not, the darkest, the least conspicuous you possess. Enter the church as quietly as possible, and as there are no ushers at a funeral, seat yourself where you approximately belong. Only a very intimate friend should take a position far up on the center aisle. If you are merely an acquaintance you should sit inconspicuously in the rear somewhere, unless the funeral is very small and the church big, in which case you may sit on the end seat of the center aisle toward the back.


...old school, but never out of style, and no one will think you have no class or manners.


Anyway, I myself have gone to only a few of the funerals of my associate's or employee's families. I have always sent a card or flowers. On the occasions I did go, I sat at the back during the viewing, did not approach the casket, and then if an opportune moment presented itself, I offered my sympathies to my associate at the conclusion of the viewing, accepted introduction to their family if they wished and offered my sympathies to them, and then quietly departed. I would not go to the grave site with the family, unless that is where the entire service took place. Then again, I would stand at the back of the service. I would not go to the reception afterwards either. Final moments and the family gathering should be private, unless you are a VERY close friend of the family or deceased. A good rule of thumb is if you feel you are or would be intruding, then you should not go or it is time to excuse yourself.
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#27 User is offline   stevers 

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Posted 24 July 2007 - 09:18 AM

I agree with warpaint, although I would never have typed that much. It never hurts to tell someone you are sorry they lost their family member, and they will apreciate the thought.
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#28 User is offline   PunkElvis18 

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Posted 24 July 2007 - 09:36 AM

When i finally go, and i better die doing somehting fun, I'm gonna have highway to hell playing while they lower me on down.

yah been to a few myself (aunt, grandmother, good friend) and the only one i really felt sorrow for was my good friend and the only reason i really felt bad was seeing his mother so distraught and heartbroken and i wish them the best it's never easy to put a 20 year old kid down in the ground.
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#29 User is offline   stevers 

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Posted 24 July 2007 - 09:42 AM

I haven't been to very many funerals, but I never show emotion. Seeing death as often as I do has gotten me used to it. I know it's probably not a good thing, and I have offended a few people, but that's the way it is with me. I always tell people that I am sorry about their loss.
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#30 User is offline   DVLCHLD 

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Posted 24 July 2007 - 03:28 PM

When I die they can feel free to just chunk me in a hole and cover me with dirt and I won't care if anybody shows up. I spend enough time worrying about crap now while I'm alive. Once I'm dead I'm done.
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