1.) People learn more when people show them what to do, as opposed to telling them what to do. People get enough of that from their parents, their teachers, their bosses, etc.
2.) Show people what you expect them to do, then have them try it. If you don't do a good job of setting expectations or an example, don't be surprised at the outcome.
3.) Practice what you want them to do until it becomes a routine or second nature.
4.) When everyone follows the routine, they all know what they can expect everyone else to do.
5.) In the field, no one is guessing, no one is hesitating, only responding to the ebb and flow of the game.
6.) Commander is a title. A leader is someone people follow, regardless of title. People follow people they trust. People trust people who consistently live up to their word. Someone called a Commander may/or may not be one of those people.
7.) Each person must conquer their own fears. We cannot talk these people out of their fears. Some people learn to face down their fears, some do not. You can show people they have nothing to fear, but your words are no protection.
8.) Not everyone is cut out for paintball, or being a Commander for that matter. That is no indication of their success or ability in other sports or aspects of life. Don't obsess over other people's shortcomings or your own...sometimes it's just best to move on.
9.) Have fun...you can do that, win or lose.