who could beat chuck norris
Posted 01 July 2007 - 03:07 PM
In Before The Lock
Posted 01 July 2007 - 07:46 PM
So did Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris sold his soul to Satan for unbeatable Martial Art skills. afterwords he kicked Satan's butt and took back his soul. Satan, the lover of irony, respected this so much that now they play poker every Tuesday. Chuck Norris always wins.
He beats him every Tuesday. Plus, Chuck could save the world if he wanted, he chooses not to.
Posted 28 July 2007 - 05:07 PM
This post has been edited by White Rook II: 28 July 2007 - 05:17 PM
Posted 28 July 2007 - 05:14 PM
That is an urban myth. Since he was ordained a Presbyterian minister in 1963, I doubt if he killed many people.
This post has been edited by White Rook II: 28 July 2007 - 05:20 PM
Posted 28 July 2007 - 08:31 PM
Jack Bauer has NO CHANCE, he would get pwn3d.
"The Tree of Liberty must be watered, from time to time, with the blood of Patriots and Tyrants, both."
Posted 28 July 2007 - 10:13 PM
Chuck Norris once invited all of the other BAD BUTTOCKSes from TV to duke it out in order to see who was the supreme BAD BUTTOCKS. Only two showed up-- Jack Bauer and MacGyver.
MacGyver immediately tried to make a bomb out of some Q-Tips and Gatorade, but Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the solar plexus. MacGyver promptly threw up his own heart.
Jack Bauer tried to use his detailed knowledge of torture techniques, but to no avail: Chuck Norris thrives on pain. Chuck Norris then ripped off Jack Bauer's arm and beat him to death with it. Game, set, match.
If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period. and that is the only thing that can beat Chuck Norris.
Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.
There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.
The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer
Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
Chuck Norris is my Homeboy.
Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting.... CHUCK NORRIS GOES KILLING
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.
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