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Wedding plan issues or the mother-in-law can't be pleased

Poll: Did we goof? (27 member(s) have cast votes)

Is it ok to ask people to bring a dish to pass?

  1. Good idea (21 votes [77.78%])

    Percentage of vote: 77.78%

  2. Bad idea (6 votes [22.22%])

    Percentage of vote: 22.22%

Scrap everything and re-do it all to placate the in-laws or keep on original plan and keep yourselvs happy

  1. Screw the in-laws it is your wedding (25 votes [92.59%])

    Percentage of vote: 92.59%

  2. Why anger the in-laws so soon? (2 votes [7.41%])

    Percentage of vote: 7.41%

Vote

#16 User is offline   Pirate 

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Posted 13 April 2010 - 04:32 PM

View PostDark Shadow Hunter, on Apr 13 2010, 04:56 AM, said:

"Who eats wings at a wedding?"

I totally would. Actually, I'm gonna call my cousin and tell her to have wings now :laugh:
My job is to be an asshole. I excel at the position.
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#17 User is offline   Erndogg 

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Posted 13 April 2010 - 10:30 PM

I was in a groomsman in a wedding that was set up very similar to the one you are planning this past summer. Its was the funnest wedding I have ever been too.

After the ceramony was over, it didnt take but 5 minutes, and every one in a Tux/dress was in the house and changed into jeans and T-shirt, the grills were fired up, and the bon fire was lit, and we were eating.... (There was wings too!!!)

After dinner, the toasts, all that kind of jazz, every one chilled by the fire lighting off fire works. It was a fun night.
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#18 User is offline   Dark Shadow Hunter 

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Posted 14 April 2010 - 05:34 AM

I like the idea of the fireworks. With it being a week before July 4th I am sure I can get away with the good ones. All my state legally allows is glorified sparklers (fountain type fireworks). During the Independence Day time frame most cops over look the "illegal" ones. I also have a good report with the local sheriff deputy and I am on the fire dept.
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#19 User is offline   stinkfingr 

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Posted 21 April 2010 - 03:10 AM

a couple of things come to mind .... this is only going to be one of many family get togethers, and they are going to be your in laws for a long, long time ... at least that is the plan. rarely in life do we get to be selfish and do anything just for ourselves, .... but some of the things i would ask is,

how does your wife REALLY feel about upsetting her mommy and daddy ? that can be a BIG deal in time to come, cuz chix think WAY differently than us guys

you say that you are already married, so this is really just a party, not the wedding ... are her folks bitter at how the legal ceremony went down and not a traditional wedding ? and this is their "gotcha" ? did they know the pastor personally that there were "issues" with previously and they felt embarassed ?

in most weddings that include daughters ( particularly first marriages ), the parents of the daughter usually contribute a great deal to the financial support of the ceremonies, and thus they feel as if they should have a great deal of the control for said ceremonies ... are they forking out monies for this, or have they offered to help financially and have been turned down ?

everyone has had more than enough time to sound their opinions, and now that you have incured the expense of invitations, and some of the other many things that go along with weddings it is kind of 11th hour to be voicing their objections .. bu usually i have found that the reason for the complaint is not the actual root cause of the discontent ... they are upset about somethiing else, and they know that this can cause you the most heartburn so it becomes the "issue" .

while they should also realize that this is "your two's" day, parents do not always see things that clearly, especially in an emotional event like giving away their daughter.

i personally think the idea for your celebration is awesome, but no one lives on an island ( except tom hanks, and even he had wilson ... lol ) so i would most def look into finding a way to appease the inlaws .. they will be around for a long time, and get your wifes true feelings on the matter ....

just my opinion
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#20 User is offline   Dark Shadow Hunter 

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Posted 21 April 2010 - 05:11 AM

There have been a few talks since I started this thread. All sides have made compromises and so far everyone is happy.

Ceremony still on at my house. We still get the cook out. We need to find a caterer that will only do sides and appetizers.


Her parents do not know the pastor. They actually do not go to church.


The other issue is the fact her mother does not support her at all. No matter what she does or says her mother always shoots down her dreams.
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#21 User is offline   Puzuma 

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Posted 21 April 2010 - 06:09 AM

View PostDark Shadow Hunter, on Apr 21 2010, 08:11 AM, said:

The other issue is the fact her mother does not support her at all. No matter what she does or says her mother always shoots down her dreams.


Sounds like my wife's entire family, which explains why we haven't talked to them in almost 2 years. I proposed on Christmas morning. That afternoon she called her mom to tell her and got a response of, "Your sister bought us a 32" LCD TV", her dad was little better, "I'm not going unless I can get drunk off your dime"
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#22 User is offline   Dark Shadow Hunter 

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Posted 21 April 2010 - 08:55 AM

I was rather shocked when her mother finally accepted it and started to ask questions. Next thing I know she wants to be involved and tried to take over.
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#23 User is offline   gypsycurse 

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Posted 26 April 2010 - 08:44 AM

I think that you should keep things the way that they are, let them know that this is what you've both agree'd on and this is what everyone is expecting and they're just fine with it, if they don't like it tough! My mom gets a little carried away sometimes and once you set her down and fully explain she understands. Maybe because you guys have two totally different back grounds they don't understand! God knows there are plenty of odd couples and parents just get confused and want the best!

Take a deep breath and keep sailing though, this is supposed to be the happiest moment of your life, don't let the in-laws effect that!
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#24 User is offline   super_stalker 

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Posted 28 May 2010 - 09:18 AM

Sounds like an awesome idea. It'll keep your costs down.

I agree with everyone else. Your wedding your choice, screw the inlaws
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#25 User is offline   Mobles 

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Posted 28 May 2010 - 10:44 AM

Mother-in-laws are evil
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#26 User is offline   Pirate 

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Posted 29 May 2010 - 08:14 PM

So how did the Wedding turn out? Or has it not happened yet?
My job is to be an asshole. I excel at the position.
We put our glass to the sky and lift up. And live tonight 'cause you can't take it with ya. So raise a pint for the people that aren't with us. And live tonight 'cause you can't take it with ya...
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#27 User is offline   H3 Proto 

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Posted 31 May 2010 - 09:17 AM

View PostPirate, on May 29 2010, 10:14 PM, said:

So how did the Wedding turn out? Or has it not happened yet?


View PostDark Shadow Hunter, on Apr 12 2010, 10:57 AM, said:

the ceremony is June 26

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#28 User is offline   Pirate 

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Posted 31 May 2010 - 01:38 PM

View PostH3 Proto, on May 31 2010, 09:17 AM, said:

View PostPirate, on May 29 2010, 10:14 PM, said:

So how did the Wedding turn out? Or has it not happened yet?


View PostDark Shadow Hunter, on Apr 12 2010, 10:57 AM, said:

the ceremony is June 26


I knew that. I was testing you :)
My job is to be an asshole. I excel at the position.
We put our glass to the sky and lift up. And live tonight 'cause you can't take it with ya. So raise a pint for the people that aren't with us. And live tonight 'cause you can't take it with ya...
Austin Michelle Cloyd, Forever in my heart. We love you, Ayesha! Rest in Peace Tyler Hackett
Rest in Peace, Dave Brockie! Cam Cam #83
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#29 User is offline   Dark Shadow Hunter 

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Posted 03 June 2010 - 09:25 AM

Only 23 days left. There have been a few changes, but nothing drastic. The mother-in-law decided to actually help pay for the wedding. Yes we have had to make a few compromises, but looks like everything will turn out for the best.

Quick notes:
Still doing cookout theme
In-laws have hired a caterer for the side dishes and appetizers
Rented a 30'x60' tent for the reception
Additional tables and chairs rented
Rented an Outdoor bar
In-laws paid for a DJ to come out.

Main thing I need to worry about now is parking for everyone. I had to have a new well put in and that tore up part of the front yard. The water table in my area is rather high. The well drillers had a hard time back filling the area where the old well was and the trench for the supply line from the new well. Their mini excavator sunk down a bit and almost got stuck.

There is some good news yet. The paintball game I am holding on the 27th is still on. That morning will be hectic though as I will have to move some chairs from the clearing in the back before everyone shows up.
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