Special Ops Paintball: Funny Joke - Special Ops Paintball

Jump to content


  • (2 Pages)
  • +
  • 1
  • 2
  • You cannot start a new topic
  • You cannot reply to this topic

Funny Joke Rate Topic: -----

#1 User is offline   mike7822 

  • Aloha!
  • PipPipPipPip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 946
  • Joined: 26-September 07
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:United States
  • Brigade Name:MIKE7822

Posted 29 December 2010 - 01:56 PM

Not so long ago, in a place not too far away there lived a boy named Jonny. When Jonny was six he went to school for the first time. After the first semester his grades came home. They were terrible!! F's and D's, not a vowel to be had! Jonny's Dad (henceforth known as Dad) told Jonny "Son, if you can get your grades up and keep em up I'll give you whatever you want for your birthday." Jonny was ecstatic! He swore that his grades would be great next semester.

The end of the year rolled around and Jonny had straight A's! Dad said "OK Jonny, tell me now, what do you want for your birthday?" (For Jonny's birthday was close to the end of the school year) And young Jonny said "Dad, this year I want Six pink ping pong balls." Dad was a little confused and bewildered but, figuring the boy was only six and not really a rational adult yet, he might as well give him the pink ping pong balls. (henceforth known as pppb)

After Jonny went back to school and started his Second Grade year the quarterly report card came back. It was even worse than his first semester of First Grade!! Dad was a little angry but then he figured out Jonny's little plan. He wanted the same deal for this year. Dad said "OK Jonny, if you bring your grades up and keep em as high as they were last year I'll give you whatever you want for your birthday." Jonny danced with glee, his plan had worked! Dad shook his head and wondered what the kid would ask for this year.

The end of the year rolled around and Jonny had straight A's again. Dad said "OK son, what do you want for your birthday? A new red wagon? A toy truck?" Jonny said "No dad, I want 6 pppb!" Now Dad was kinda confused but said what the hell, they're cheaper than a truck. Maybe it's a phase.

Jonny grew older as boys do and continued on to 3rd grade and 4th and 5th. His grades were always outstanding because Dad had begun offering the deal right when summer had ended. But every year Jonny always wanted the same thing, 6 pink ping pong balls. Until after the 6th grade, something changed. Dad came up to him a few days before his birthday and said "Well son, you're going to go into Jr High next year, your grades all through elementary school have been great. What would you like for your birthday?" Jonny thought about it, and thought about it. He was troubled, finally he screwed up his courage and said "Dad? I really want 2 things this year" Dad, thinking that finally this stupid ping pong ball thing was over, was overjoyed! He had begun to worry that his son might be mentally retarded. He said "It's OK son, whatever you want I'll get you!" Jonny said "Great!! I really wanted a big bright green Box to put all my pink ping pong balls in!" A Box!?" Dad said, "Well, OK Jonny, I guess I can get you a big green box for your ping pong balls. What else did you want?" "And this year Dad, I don't want 6 pink ping pong balls." "GREAT Son!! What did you want?" Jonny said "This year, I want SEVEN Purple ping pong balls!" Dad's jaw dropped, he shook his head, and he finally said, "OK son, I'll get you a big green box and 7 purple ping pong balls."

Jonny started Jr High, then high school, and he did well, and every year his Dad gave him 7 purple ping pong balls. Finally his 18th birthday rolled around and he got his drivers liscence. His dad said "OK son, you're 18, old enough for a car of your own, what would you like for your birthday?" Jonny said "Well Dad, I know you're not rich, and I really don't want to be greedy but..." "Yes Son?" "Dad, this year could I have...... 7 purple ping pong balls, And 6 pink ping pong balls?" Dad shook his head, and deep in his heart accepted the fact that his son was probably insane, and replied "Sure son, Happy Birthday."

Jonny graduated from High school with a 4.25 GPA, he had no trouble getting into a good college out of state with a ton of scholorships. Before he left for college his dad took him aside and told him "Son, You're going off to college now. With all of your scholarships we don't even have to spend a penny of your Savings Fund. So if you keep your grades up all through college I can afford to give you really GREAT birthday presents every year! Just e-mail me and tell me what you want and I'll try and send it to you." *You see, deep down. Dad was hoping that Jonny would wise up and ask for a car or something, no such luck* Jonny said "Thanks Dad, but the e-mailing won't be necessary, all I want for my birthday is 6 pink ping pong balls and seven purple ping pong balls." Dad shook his head, told him the balls are in the mail, and sent him off.

Every year it was the same thing, Pink Ping Pong Balls, Purple Ping Pong Balls. All through college, then medical school. Pink Ping Pong Balls, Purple Ping Pong Balls, Pink Ping Pong Balls, Purple Ping Pong Balls! Then Jonny graduated medical school. The deal was off. He was a successful practicing heart surgeon. Jonny's first birthday since graduating rolled around. Dad had no idea what to get him. So he asked "Son, what would you like for your birthday?" And Jonny answered "Why Dad, what do I always want for my birthday?" Right about this time is when Dad got Fed Up! "BOY! What is with you and the ping pong balls!?!?! Every year since you were 6 that's all you've wanted! Is it a cult? Is it drugs? Are you INSANE?" Jonny was a little shocked, his Dad had never yelled at him like that before. He replied "Dad, I can't tell you why I want the Ping Pong Balls, not yet anyway. Maybe someday I can tell you, but not right now." Dad, slightly ashamed at himself for his emotional outbust, conceded "That's ok son, I'm sorry, I'll give you the ping pong balls." Even though his curiousity was eating him alive.

Years passed, Jonny grew up, got married, had kids of his own. But every year it was the Ping Pong Balls, sometimes pink, sometimes purple, but always Ping Pong Balls. They had outgrown the big green box many years ago. Jonny, being a rich doctor, bought a couple huge warehouses on the dockside to put them all in. Both of them completly full with mountains of Ping Pong Balls. Every once in a while Jonny would walk there, all alone, with only him, the Ping Pong Balls, and his thoughts.

Many many years had passed, Jonny's mom died, Jonny himself was very old, and Jonny's dad even older. One day Jonny called his Dad and asked him if he would visit him down by the dockside. So Jonny and his Dad walked the docks, catching up on old times, just spending time together. During the course of their walk they came upon the warehouses where Jonny stored the Ping Pong Balls. There was a whole row of them. Jonny broke his Dad's astonished silence by saying "This is what I wanted to show you Dad."

They walked through the mountains of Ping Pong Balls, Dad in awe. There had to be millions of the damn things. Mountains of Pink and Purple. Dad suddenly broke the silence by sneezing. Jonny started! and in the background there was a sound: "tick, tick, tick..." , this worried Jonny, he was about to go check it out when dad said "Why son? All these years all you've ever wanted was Ping Pong Balls and I want to know why before I die." **tick, tick, tick...** Jonny said "You're not going to die Dad, you're perfectly healthy!" **Tick, tick, tick...** "I'm old son, I'm going to die sometime, and I want to know your reason before I do" **Tick, Tick, tick...** Jonny sighed, "Well Dad..." **Tick, Tick, tick...** "It's kinda hard for me to say this ..." **Tick, Tick, Tick...** "Especially after keeping silent for so long..." **Tick, Tick, Tick...** "But I supposed I do have to tell you sometime." **TICK, Tick, Tick...** "The Reason" **TICK, TICK, Tick...** "The reason is Dad ..." **TICK, TICK, TICK...** "I..." **TICK, TICK, TICK, TACK!!!**

Suddenly one single Pink Ping Pong Ball, that had been bouncing all the way from the top of the Mountain, smacked Jonny on the back of the head knocking him to the ground!

Jonny's Dad hurriedly knelt down and said "Jonny?!?! Are you ok? Why Jonny, What's the Reason!!!???" And Jonny said...

...

.....

...... "Ow..."

...

And died in his Dad's arms.
03 Prostock Pump ♦ 08 Ego
-5

#2 User is offline   Krazy8 

  • User Defined
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Retired/Inactive Moderator
  • Posts: 2,555
  • Joined: 30-January 05
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Rathdrum , ID
  • Brigade Name:Krazy8

Posted 29 December 2010 - 02:02 PM

Stab....repeatedly.
1

#3 User is offline   5N1P3R 

  • Master Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 2,832
  • Joined: 24-August 08
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Minnesota

Posted 29 December 2010 - 02:44 PM

Thanks for wasting all that time of mine mike. :)
0

#4 User is offline   Eskimo 

  • Igloo Member #1
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 2,319
  • Joined: 05-August 07
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Whitby Canada.
  • Brigade Name:Mime

Posted 29 December 2010 - 03:56 PM

This deserves a 1 day ban.
0

#5 User is offline   TheEnd 

  • I am the who when you call "Who's there?"
  • PipPipPip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 686
  • Joined: 07-October 06
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Indiana
  • Brigade Name:TheFear07

Posted 29 December 2010 - 07:08 PM

This might be worth a week ban.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized God doesn’t work that way, so I stole one and prayed for forgiveness.- Emo Philips
I don't drink these days. I'm allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. Robert Downey Junior
Now and then I announce "I know you're listening to empty rooms". If I'm wrong then no one knows, and if I'm right, Maybe I just freaked the hell out of some secret organization.
0

#6 User is offline   Private Silver 

  • Das poomp
  • PipPipPip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 412
  • Joined: 22-August 09
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Pennsylvania
  • Brigade Name:Private Silver

Posted 29 December 2010 - 07:56 PM

Yes. Minimum 1 day.
Posted Image
SO Feedback +2/ E-bay feedback +14
0

#7 User is offline   Puzuma 

  • That is not dead which can eternal lie,
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Administrators
  • Posts: 14,380
  • Joined: 22-September 06
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:London ON, Canada
  • Brigade Name:Puzuma

Posted 29 December 2010 - 08:25 PM

Everyone could just neg rep him....
Posted Image
That is not dead which can eternal lie,And with strange aeons even death may die.
0

#8 User is offline   mike7822 

  • Aloha!
  • PipPipPipPip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 946
  • Joined: 26-September 07
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:United States
  • Brigade Name:MIKE7822

Posted 29 December 2010 - 08:56 PM

View PostEskimo, on 29 December 2010 - 05:56 PM, said:

This deserves a 1 day ban.



View PostTheEnd, on 29 December 2010 - 09:08 PM, said:

This might be worth a week ban.



View PostPrivate Silver, on 29 December 2010 - 09:56 PM, said:

Yes. Minimum 1 day.



View PostPuzuma, on 29 December 2010 - 10:25 PM, said:

Everyone could just neg rep him....



Y'all are such debby downers
03 Prostock Pump ♦ 08 Ego
0

#9 User is offline   Benaiah 

  • If you dont get it, youre Sofa Kingdom
  • PipPipPip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 280
  • Joined: 30-August 10
  • Gender:Male
  • Brigade Name:Benaiah2320

Posted 29 December 2010 - 10:01 PM

I can handle a lot of things. ive had plenty of stitches, bumps, bruises, cuts you name it. Im not worried in the dark, tight spaces dont wig me out. Im fine with heights, spiders, snakes and babies. But there is one thing i absolutely cannot handle.

An unfinished story.

For this, you get slain.

Im going to google search mike and kill each one until i get to you. and im going to stick a pink or purple ping pong ball in your mouth.

this is getting rather gruesome so i'll stop.

But in all seriousness, jerk move lol.

Now i cant wait to do it to someone else :D

This post has been edited by Benaiah: 29 December 2010 - 10:01 PM

2 Samuel 22
1

#10 User is offline   Iron Maiden 

  • Forum Member
  • PipPip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 195
  • Joined: 11-February 07
  • Gender:Male
  • Brigade Name:Iron Maiden

Posted 29 December 2010 - 10:46 PM

Well. That was anticlimactic. Posted Image
I'm back, and this time for good.
0

#11 User is offline   C0N0R 

  • whose the guy who horked our clothes eh?
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 2,074
  • Joined: 20-August 06
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:if i told you id have to kill you
  • Brigade Name:Mad Sabre

Posted 30 December 2010 - 09:14 AM

hate to be a total buzz-killer, but there was a MUCH better version of this posted a year or two back here.
SO's own Guitar player/luthier (builder), ask me any questions about guitars or guitar building.
brownie points-15
Gear- Jackson DX10D with OFR, Tremol-no, and concentric pots. Schecter omen 6 with... wait.. wrong forum..
Hope you plan on keeping it, resale on big pickups is dropping faster than your mom's skirt-aqua__scummm
0

#12 User is offline   Krazy8 

  • User Defined
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Retired/Inactive Moderator
  • Posts: 2,555
  • Joined: 30-January 05
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Rathdrum , ID
  • Brigade Name:Krazy8

Posted 30 December 2010 - 09:59 AM

View Postmike7822, on 29 December 2010 - 07:56 PM, said:

View PostEskimo, on 29 December 2010 - 05:56 PM, said:

This deserves a 1 day ban.



View PostTheEnd, on 29 December 2010 - 09:08 PM, said:

This might be worth a week ban.



View PostPrivate Silver, on 29 December 2010 - 09:56 PM, said:

Yes. Minimum 1 day.



View PostPuzuma, on 29 December 2010 - 10:25 PM, said:

Everyone could just neg rep him....



Y'all are such debby downers


But my stab comment was ok?


I :wub: you.
0

#13 User is offline   Mobles 

  • Better than Mack
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 4,921
  • Joined: 23-August 07
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Tennessee/Alabama state line
  • Brigade Name:T-Freak

Posted 30 December 2010 - 11:44 AM

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA :tup:
Life is short, get off your couch
[IMG-]http://i215.photobuc...eak/meeko-1.jpg[-/IMG]
Posted Image

0

#14 User is offline   mike7822 

  • Aloha!
  • PipPipPipPip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 946
  • Joined: 26-September 07
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:United States
  • Brigade Name:MIKE7822

Posted 30 December 2010 - 12:25 PM

View PostKrazy8, on 30 December 2010 - 11:59 AM, said:


I :wub: you.



<3



Aww -3 rep. This is horrible!



:dodgy:
03 Prostock Pump ♦ 08 Ego
-1

#15 User is offline   predsniper 

  • predsniper
  • Pip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 23
  • Joined: 10-November 08
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Tampa, Fl
  • Brigade Name:Predsniper

Posted 10 September 2011 - 03:56 PM

And Joker says "That's not funny."
0

Share this topic:


  • (2 Pages)
  • +
  • 1
  • 2
  • You cannot start a new topic
  • You cannot reply to this topic

2 User(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 2 guests, 0 anonymous users