Special Ops Paintball: So you're gonna bring a girl to play? - Special Ops Paintball

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So you're gonna bring a girl to play? A how-to guide. Rate Topic: ***** 5 Votes

#1 User is offline   Becc 

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Posted 13 April 2009 - 03:08 PM

I've brought so many girls into the sport, I've considered making a thread on how to do it for a while. After yet another how to pm, I decided I might as well. So here goes.

Protection
Chest protectors are awesome for first timers, especially if theyre 'well endowed'. However, deffinately present it in an optional way. For some girls (like me), the protection isnt worth how uncomforatable it is. Proto makes a GREAT option for girls, that fits better than the cheap, hard plastic design. The hard material just doesnt work for girls... at all.. trust me on this. Of course, the one that actually works is NOT cheap. I only bought one because of the large number of girls I drag with me on a regular basis.
The best solution I've found is something every girl has -whether they deny it or not- a padded bra. I know it's a touchy subject but just suggest they wear their most padded lingerie and nod and wave at their insistance that they dont own one. Sports bras are great... for sports that arent paintball. Theres also a few things you can do with clothing, but that will come later.

Masks
are weird for girls. For the most part, theyre going to need to learn to suck it up.
First of all, tell them to wear their hair in (preferably braided) piggy tails. It will make any mask fit a million times better, and keep the hair out of their face. Pigtails tend to get in the way of the goggle strap, and wearing hair down has many obvious problems like getting in the eyes and turning into an oily rats nest.
Anyway, the actual mask part. Girl's have thinner faces, but not necessarily shorter. You cant just hand them some mask made for kids and expect it to be good. Obviously theyll be settling for your loaner set, but anything JT/tippman/extreme rage/walmart really just wont work for them. $20 Vents cyclus or helix are what I tend to loan out, they dont fall off and offer great coverage for people who care more about pain than ease of breathing.

Gloves are pretty much necessary for anyone, but especially for girls. Lets face it, the majority of them are of the 'dont let me break a nail!' variety. Plus, they dont have hands as tough and callused as all you construction workers. Its not just to protect from hits, its about enabling them to crawl in the woods and have fun. My backup/loaner pair are Invert SE's. They arent break-the-bank expensive, and they do everything a girl needs. Great coverage, without being inflexible. And they fit great. Let me make this one unmissable: IF YOU EVER NEED PAINTBALL CLOTHES FOR GIRLS, BUY INVERT. IT FITS BETTER THAN ANYONE OUT THERE, PERIOD. One last note on gloves: please make sure they arent your old xxl's. That just sucks. They wont be able to find the trigger, nevermind handle the safety.


Clothing
Pants in my opinion are the most important. NO JEANS NO JEANS NO JEANS! I dont care if they have to go buy last years bad trend in 99 cent workout pants from walmart on the way to the field, do NOT allow them to wear jeans. Heres the reasons: Girls dont believe in baggy jeans. I can gaurentee you the loosest pair of jeans they have are skin tight. Tight jeans suck. You cant bend/flex/move in them, and thats really important in paintball. Also, have you ever gotten hit wearing skin tight anything? It HURTS! Not to mention, wet jeans... weigh more than the poor girl probably does, are uncomforatable, cold, and just wrong.
The solution is sweatpants. Or flannel pajama bottoms, although they tend to be a bit thin and too warm. Sweatpants are great, baggy enough to prevent hits from hurting, and no one really cares if they get stained. Of course, if you happen to have loaner pants that will fit her, give them to her. But still have her wear something like leggings or basketball shorts underneath. And again THAT FIT HER. I dont wanna see her tripping on the pants, or running with a crotch thats at her knees, or her suddenly pantless as they fall off.
If its cold out have her wear her snowpants. Even I take them over my pb pants during the winter and spring. Theyre really padded, dont get soaking wet, and you can move in them. She wont stain them if she washes them within a few days.

The top half is the one thats probably going to get hit, and also the one theyre most likely going to want to take off when they get hot. We've already covered padded bras and upper package protectors. As for everything else, heres the list I always give: A ribbed tank top (theyll know what this is). It has a suprising amount of cusion, and breathes really well. Over that, throw a really thin longsleeve- something you'd only wear over a tank top so as to avoid showing off your undergarmets. Then, throw on your old 'band/chess club sweatshirt'. Not the skin tight fashionable ones, the ones you pull over your head and make you feel like the staypuffed marshmallow man. We arent trying to make a fashion statement here. Generally, after the first hit they'll take that off and play in just the longsleeve/tank combo. If not but theyre still hot, have them take off the longsleeve.
Another great thing to suggest they wear is a flannel shirt. You know, the one theyd have to steal from their dad, and buttons up the front, and just embarasses them to death. Its the perfect amount of protection without being as hot as a sweatshirt. If its 80+ out, thats deffinately the way to go if they still NEED a longsleeve shirt. Jerseys, imo, on newbies, are crap. Leave it in the gearbag. She isnt ready for that thin of coverage, and she doesnt need the padding. Plus I bet you itll look like a dress on her.

Shoes. Ask her if she has hiking boots or trail running shoes. If not, sneakers are really the only option. Tell her to wear a pair that has a 'plastic toe', like most sketchers. They prevent toe stubbing and other such messes. Skate shoes are generally well padded, but make sure she laces them properly and tightly, or you'll be searching for them in the mud. Traction is a good thing, but not necessarily the first thing you should look at. Its more important she's comforatable in the shoes.

Just one thing thats probably going to get many akward looks... tell her to wear a thong. Seriously. Theyre a LOT more comforatable for the positions she'll be in when she plays, and when it comes to butt padding, less is more. You've already got lots of padding back there, and ive found it hurts a lot less to get a hit to near-bare-butt than it does to uber padding-age. Not to mention the possibility of the amazing view if you're playing the bunker behind her.

Let me say this one last time: If youre gonna buy her gear, dont waste your time having her try on the pretty PE stuff we all know you love sooooo much, just get her invert stuff. It fits girls so much better than anything else, and its not like its ugly.


Actual Gear
The Gun should be light, and not a tippman, if at all possible. Ion's work great for girls. Dont give them your 800,000 dollar marker just because they think its pretty, theyll probably wreck it just like any newb will. And as always, try to avoid overwhelming them with too many instructions. "on" and "off" are a lot. You dont need to tell them about the eyes, itll just confuse the ever living hell out of them. and HONESTLY how many times have you used the 'no eyes' function?? Tell them to find you if it stops working. Simple enough.

Hopper... look, the girls gonna burnnnnn some paint. They like to shoot. At boys. A lot. Plan accordingly. If you really dont have the money to waste on a ton of paint, give her a gravity feed. If you want a 'reward' that night, give her a Halo and let her go to town.

Pod packs require a bit of trial and error. First of all, PLEASE I BEG OF YOU, dont stick her with a remote line. The tank will kill her back, it isnt as long as yours and the fill nipple will hit it every time she moves. Also make sure its really adjustable so it doesnt fall off, and make sure it sits comforatably above her hips. Thats where girls are meant to carry weight, and where she'll probably automatically put it. Just be careful that it isnt so rediculously high that its acting as a corset to her boobs. That isnt comforatable either. The typical rental belts dont work for girls. She'll end up with a bruise all around her hips where the belt rested, I say that one from painful experience. After that, the welts were nothing. The empire packs work well, and spyders/redz that dont have a belt are passable.

Air tanks are an opportunity for you to be a gentleman. Give her the nice carbon fiber light tank. Remember the point is for her to enjoy her time and want to come back. If her arms kill from carrying a 20lb tank, that wont happen.

Tips especially for girls
Getting hit- For some reason girls have a harder time grasping what to do when out than guys. So tell them what to do, so many times youre gonna hit yourself if you say it again. Yes its gonna hurt. Tell them to channel the pain into yelling IM OUT as loud as they possibly can. If no one can hear you, youre gonna get hit again. If you scream too loud but only say 'rwaoiiiiiiirowwwwwwwwgrawp', the refs will think you broke an ankle and get shot up a lot trying to get to you fast. Then they wont think you're very cute anymore... downside or not, I'll let her decide.
Also, one general pet peave. You can wait 2 seconds to put on your barrel bag. Dont sit in the middle of a firefight fiddling with it and getting shot more. Walk to the deadbox and do it. If your gun is up in the air, they probably wont shoot at you, and if they do the barrel bag wouldnt have made a difference.

Moving up- Encourage them to use their size to their advantage. Give them backup while they crawl up to a tiny bunker youd never in a million years fit into. Dont underestimate their ability to flex into weird shapes youd never imagine just so they dont get shot. Once again liz is my case in point, and ive seen her do weirder:
Posted Image


Communication- Girls are typically a lot quieter. Encourage them the entire day to tell you where people are, where theyre moving, and if they see a good plan. Congratulate/smooch on them after the game if they do it without you reminding them, and if you can do it without being slapped. ASK them if they have any ideas strategy-wise. Generally, girls are very analytical and have probably been thinking about it for way longer than you have. They seem to know immediately what works and what doesnt. Not that guys cant, but I very rarely have a first-time guy give me something I havent thought of already in my 2 years of playing a field. I've had quite a few girls suprise me with good ideas.



As always, feel free to shoot me a PM with any questions about your girl and how to get her to play. I'm a seasoned vet on the matter, and I can get away with telling them to grow some balls (im guessing none of you can, and if im wrong, guys arent supposed to have their girls whipped, poop shooter). I'm always more than happy to talk to any girl hesitant about it.
And ALWAYS encourage them, they have low self esteem, i mean think about how often you have to tell them they arent fat, they need it, and youll be glad you did it.

Thats it for now

~Becc



PS. Suppose I might want to add in some stuff I've addressed since this thread was posted.

I'm not buying it, girls
"I can't play cause it'll stain my clothes." Buy her a $10 walmart outfit. Thats what it took me to play my first game- some 5 dollar camo pants from walmart i bought on the way, and one of my dads old tshirts. Honestly though, there's a 0% possibility of staining (coming from the mouth of a girl who cant afford to replace stained clothes). Have her wear black, and tell her to throw it in the wash right when she gets home. Theres virtually zero chance of stain if you get it that soon. I mean, my mom LET me wear a 50 dollar dress paintballing she was so sure it wouldnt get stained. As far as shoes go... those can go in the wash too. Or take her to payless, and turn it into a 20 dollar outfit. Or spray on some of that waterproofing stuff they make for highheels and dress shoes.
I've NEVER had undergarmets stained, and ive taken direct boob shots to a white bra while wearing a 'tissue paper thin' tank and didnt even wash it for a week, as well as a direct crotch shot (we wont go there) with baby pink underwear and orange paint. Plus, me and a friend were just discussing how she found a matching camo bra/thong set at walmart on sale for 8 bucks that she paintballs in. I mean its not every day you have a GREAT excuse to buy your girl camo underwear that doesnt even cost you the normal 50 bucks.
If shes STILL worried or doesnt want you spending money... loan her your clothes. Also make sure to point out to her how sexy you find welts and paint stained clothing.

"It'll HURT!" Ok, this ones a bit mean, but she'll get over it. Pull out a rubber band and give her a good whack against a bare arm. Remind her that paintballs only hurt that much, when you aren't hyped up on adrenaline... which any time she does get hit, she will be. Then, fair is fair. Let her shoot you in the backyard once before she plays. Isnt it worth it to get them into the game? Plus the smile on her face while she decides to unload the whole hopper on you will be priceless. If you aren't mean enough to do that... just tell her to get over it. Show them all the protective gear, and while you're at it point out how safe it is. It also never hurts to point out that welts only last about 5 days, tops.

"They'll make fun of me cause im a girl" Only if you scream like a girl. But in all honesty, the situation will go more like this.
Boy1: Dude... theres a girl here... AND SHE HAS BOOBS
Boy2: Wow... man... I wonder if shed go out with me if I don't shoot her all day.
Boyfriend: *punches Boy 2*
Boy 1: DUDE SHES YOURS! Ok I wont hit her all day I swear just dont kill me...
Boy 3: Nice catch man *drools and trips over log*
Girl: *shoots Boy 3 in the buttox*
Most guys wont even shoot a girl, or go very very easy on her (yes all you guys reading it I know YOU do, but most rentals/weekend warriors wont). It took me endless hours of taunting and repeatedly shooting the boys out before they weren't easy on me. So don't worry, you're more likely to be frustrated with how easy they're going on you than how hard it is or what they're saying about you. And remember kids: 95% of the people at the field are hormone driven starwars fans (think: clones of the guy bringing you), and the other 5% are so old you probably look like a guy to them.

In the famous words of Becc "MY HAIIIIIIRRRR" Give her a bandana. Not a sandana, a dandana, or any other akward variations. A bandana. It blocks most of the oil (sandanas really are misserable at that), and also cushions the forehead. No girl wants to be turned into a unicorn a week before prom. Tell her to use swimmers or clarifying shampoo. If she swims or has blonde hair, I'm sure she'll have it. Its designed to get chlorine/iron/gross buildup out of your hair. Suprisingly, dandruff shampoo works ok as a last resort, but I reccomend the first two. Then tell her to straighten her hair after the shower. It'll dry out her oily-feeling hair and return it to normal.

"I meant... like... a romantic date involving a helecopter?" What could be more romantic than me shooting my balls all over you? And you returning the favor? Hell we can even involve a few other guys/girls if you want... plus one of the fields has a helecopter on it!
Ok ok serious time. There really is nothing more romantic than paintball. Its hard work, teamwork, helping her through a challenge, all rolled into one. Adrenaline makes you want stuff more too, apparently. Not to mention, most big games involve camping that night. One of the best dates I've ever had was paintball, trip to DQ (where we completely covered the chairs in paint while cuddling and sharing chocolate icecream), a swim at a lake at sunset to rinse off the paint, and then sitting around a campfire while he sang badly to 80's songs. Plus, if you can convince her you're really thinking of her best interests and bring out the emotional working together to solve problems crap, you are so in. And lets face it guys you'd rather paintball to a $200 dinner that wouldnt even fill up her miniature poodle.

This post has been edited by Becc: 16 April 2009 - 07:40 AM

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#2 User is offline   ranger111133 

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Posted 13 April 2009 - 04:21 PM

wow some great tips there, i've been trying to take girls to go play paintball forever but never knew what would b comfortable for them to wear and stuff. great post

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#3 User is offline   Ethrealwolf 

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Posted 13 April 2009 - 04:32 PM

I'm so glad I don't actually have to know any of this. :P

nice writeup though.
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Posted 13 April 2009 - 04:42 PM

Haha sweet info becc, thanks girl! I go to sleep, and wake up and find this :P Awesome stuff!

The only question now is do I just have her read this or do I feel brave and tell her to wear a thong, which she already probably will...Decisions, decisions...
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Posted 13 April 2009 - 05:22 PM

:applause:...crap this isn't AO, great write up anyway Becc. Oh, and if I ever have to use this, methinks I'll just have her read it, you know, the thong part could get really awkward, I'm talking EPIC awkward silence. :P

This post has been edited by Nom Carver: 13 April 2009 - 05:22 PM

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Posted 13 April 2009 - 05:27 PM

As a dude who has had long hair (past the elbows) for the better part of the last 20 years, I can tell you that a simple pony tail has worked for me and has never got in the way of my mask strap ever.

Now, I have a bigger head than George Lopez (I need to custom order my XXXL motorcycle helmets) and if I can make them work, I'm sure a woman with a normal sized head can make it work too :P
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Posted 13 April 2009 - 05:43 PM

my girlfriend fences, so she's okay with pain, but if i told her to wear a thong, i'd get stapped with a saber...
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Posted 13 April 2009 - 05:50 PM

My back player would hate you for this thread..especially about the Chest Protector part...she trys to prove her manliness..or whatever :)

EDIT: and the "girls are quieter" part...she is the loudest person at field ..lol

This post has been edited by T-Freak: 13 April 2009 - 05:51 PM

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#9 User is offline   atto 

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Posted 13 April 2009 - 06:01 PM

I've started about 12 women from the ages of 11-40 start. Only things I would add is if they are afraid give them all of the safety info you can find. Girls think about that stuff more than guys. Also if the field has speedball try and take them on that first. Its less scary than woodsball starting off and you guarantee a hit in the first game.
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#10 User is offline   Florentine 

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Posted 13 April 2009 - 06:04 PM

That was a very good read Becc. I enjoyed that entirely, and I can see the hormones seeping through my monitor right now. I bet almost every guy reading this is going to bring a female along, just so they can see her wear a thong. :)
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Posted 13 April 2009 - 06:13 PM

Florentine, on Apr 13 2009, 09:04 PM, said:

That was a very good read Becc. I enjoyed that entirely, and I can see the hormones seeping through my monitor right now. I bet almost every guy reading this is going to bring a female along, just so they can see her wear a thong. :)



Truer words were never spoken. :laugh:
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#12 User is offline   Becc 

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Posted 13 April 2009 - 06:22 PM

Agnoeo, on Apr 13 2009, 07:42 PM, said:

Haha sweet info becc, thanks girl! I go to sleep, and wake up and find this :) Awesome stuff!

The only question now is do I just have her read this or do I feel brave and tell her to wear a thong, which she already probably will...Decisions, decisions...

lol.. well..., if you tell her in person... you can add a part about lace thongs being the best...
which actually in retrospect is kinda true :)

Nom Carver, on Apr 13 2009, 08:22 PM, said:

:applause:...crap this isn't AO, great write up anyway Becc. Oh, and if I ever have to use this, methinks I'll just have her read it, you know, the thong part could get really awkward, I'm talking EPIC awkward silence. :laugh:

you act like that would be bad...


ghost93, on Apr 13 2009, 08:27 PM, said:

Note to self, buy man thong.

:sick: ok... sorry.. but men dont have nice, deliciously round fat-filled butts. ill laugh when you get shot and start howling.

Ciderbarrel, on Apr 13 2009, 08:27 PM, said:

As a dude who has had long hair (past the elbows) for the better part of the last 20 years, I can tell you that a simple pony tail has worked for me and has never got in the way of my mask strap ever.

Now, I have a bigger head than George Lopez (I need to custom order my XXXL motorcycle helmets) and if I can make them work, I'm sure a woman with a normal sized head can make it work too :)

well.. men tend to wear ponytails lower, at the nape of the neck. My hair isnt/wasnt long enough to pull that off, plus i find it uncomfortable. i wear my ponytails up high and theyre always right in the way. plus i maintain pigtails are far superior. but this is just a guide, not the 30 commandments.


XHUSKY7, on Apr 13 2009, 08:43 PM, said:

my girlfriend fences, so she's okay with pain, but if i told her to wear a thong, i'd get stapped with a saber...

LOL. *sound of cracking whip*
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T-Freak, on Apr 13 2009, 08:50 PM, said:

My back player would hate you for this thread..especially about the Chest Protector part...she trys to prove her manliness..or whatever :P

EDIT: and the "girls are quieter" part...she is the loudest person at field ..lol

haha i keep forgetting youve never seen me play. i think me and her would get along great.

lol. i said the norm of girlfriends being dragged to a field for the first time will need this. I've never worn a chest protector, ever. I've also never had a problem telling the guys what sissies they are for not moving up, at 500 decibals. But these are the things ive noticed from your average lollolihavelotsofhighlights-anda60dollarmanicure variety

Quote

I bet almost every guy reading this is going to bring a female along, just so they can see her wear a thong.

lol hey whatever works right *cough* manwhore you see me in a thong all the time *cough*

Quote

This is honestly one of the best threads I have seen in a while. Now I just need to find a girl to bring paintballing (as well as prom, 2 weeks left...) lol

HAHAHAHA, the "Becc told me" part would probably create some problems, especially if its your girlfriend your telling that to.

Bring me! :nododgy: Dont get my own and the guy who was gonna bring me found out he wasnt getting sex afterwards and found someone else...

haha tell them its ok im a lesbian??

This post has been edited by Becc: 13 April 2009 - 06:25 PM

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#13 User is offline   Ciderbarrel 

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Posted 13 April 2009 - 06:27 PM

Becc, on Apr 13 2009, 08:22 PM, said:

Ciderbarrel, on Apr 13 2009, 08:27 PM, said:

As a dude who has had long hair (past the elbows) for the better part of the last 20 years, I can tell you that a simple pony tail has worked for me and has never got in the way of my mask strap ever.

Now, I have a bigger head than George Lopez (I need to custom order my XXXL motorcycle helmets) and if I can make them work, I'm sure a woman with a normal sized head can make it work too :)

well.. men tend to wear ponytails lower, at the nape of the neck. My hair isnt/wasnt long enough to pull that off, plus i find it uncomfortable. i wear my ponytails up high and theyre always right in the way. plus i maintain pigtails are far superior. but this is just a guide, not the 30 commandments.



Ahh, good point. I forgot about that.
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Posted 13 April 2009 - 08:11 PM

So I offered her the choice: come paintballing or go on a helicopter tour of Narragansett bay. She chose the possibility of crashing hundreds of feet into the ocean over some bright colored welts. The deciding factor was the idea that clothes might be stained by the paint(read:undergarments). The pain factor didn't even matter to her...I've seen the shoes she wears on a daily basis. I think she just is afraid of shoes or clothes turning lime green forever. Any suggestions?
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#15 User is offline   Becc 

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Posted 13 April 2009 - 08:25 PM

scurvy, on Apr 13 2009, 11:11 PM, said:

So I offered her the choice: come paintballing or go on a helicopter tour of Narragansett bay. She chose the possibility of crashing hundreds of feet into the ocean over some bright colored welts. The deciding factor was the idea that clothes might be stained by the paint(read:undergarments). The pain factor didn't even matter to her...I've seen the shoes she wears on a daily basis. I think she just is afraid of shoes or clothes turning lime green forever. Any suggestions?



Buy her a $10 walmart outfit. Thats what it took me to play my first game- some like 5 dollar camo pants from wallmart i bought on the way, and one of my dads old tshirts. Honestly though, just tell her about the 0% possibility of staining (coming from the mouth of a girl who cant afford to replace stained clothes). Have her wear black, and tell her to throw it in the wash right when she gets home. Theres virtually zero chance of stain if you get it that soon. I mean, my mom LET me wear a 50 dollar dress paintballing she was so sure it wouldnt get stained. As far as shoes go... those can go in the wash too. Or take her to payless, and turn it into a 20 dollar outfit.
I've NEVER had undergarmets stained, and ive taken direct boob shots to a white bra while wearing a 'tissue paper thin' tank and didnt even wash it for a week, as well as a direct crotch shot (we wont go there) with pink thong. Plus, me and hidden were just discussing how she found a matching camo bra/thong set at walmart on sale for 8 bucks that she paintballs in. I mean its not every day you have a GREAT excuse to buy your girl camo underwear that doesnt even cost you the normal 50 bucks.

If shes STILL worried or doesnt want you spending money... loan her your clothes. If they wont fit, I've got a spare camo coat and pink camo pants (size m/l that dont fit me) ill send her if thats what will get her to go. Theyre sitting in my closet collecting dust.

Also make sure to point out to her how sexy you find welts and paint stained clothing.

Id also like to point out id take helecopter over paintball :)

This post has been edited by Becc: 13 April 2009 - 08:26 PM

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