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who could beat chuck norris Rate Topic: -----

#136 User is offline   Suicidal Lemming 

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Posted 01 July 2007 - 03:07 PM

Doctor Who of course. He's defeated Satan, worked himself out of a time paradox using only a radio and an easter egg on a DVD, and saved the galaxy from total destruction using only a screwdriver and the power of collective thought (seriously). How could he not defeat Chuck Norris?
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#137 Guest_Apocolyptic_*

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Posted 01 July 2007 - 07:46 PM

View PostSuicidal Lemming, on Jul 1 2007, 04:07 PM, said:

Doctor Who of course. He's defeated Satan, worked himself out of a time paradox using only a radio and an easter egg on a DVD, and saved the galaxy from total destruction using only a screwdriver and the power of collective thought (seriously). How could he not defeat Chuck Norris?


So did Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris sold his soul to Satan for unbeatable Martial Art skills. afterwords he kicked Satan's butt and took back his soul. Satan, the lover of irony, respected this so much that now they play poker every Tuesday. Chuck Norris always wins.

He beats him every Tuesday. Plus, Chuck could save the world if he wanted, he chooses not to.
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#138 User is offline   Ace-014 

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Posted 01 July 2007 - 10:32 PM

You forgot to put me on your list.
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#139 User is offline   White Rook II 

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Posted 28 July 2007 - 05:07 PM

The Boondock Saints or Inspector Jacques Clouseau

This post has been edited by White Rook II: 28 July 2007 - 05:17 PM

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#140 User is offline   White Rook II 

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Posted 28 July 2007 - 05:14 PM

View PostApocolyptic, on Jun 17 2007, 10:27 PM, said:

View PostMaDuce, on Jun 17 2007, 11:25 PM, said:

View PostStat Boy, on Jun 17 2007, 09:58 PM, said:

Mr. Rogers



Did you know Mr Rogers was a Marine Sargent in Vietnam?


I heard he was a sniper. But that rules!



That is an urban myth. Since he was ordained a Presbyterian minister in 1963, I doubt if he killed many people.

This post has been edited by White Rook II: 28 July 2007 - 05:20 PM

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#141 Guest_TM SNPR_*

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Posted 28 July 2007 - 05:59 PM

true, he was never in the armed forces but his "Brother" fought in WWII

This post has been edited by TM SNPR: 28 July 2007 - 05:59 PM

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#142 User is offline   Fiend 

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Posted 28 July 2007 - 07:04 PM

CHARLES BRONSON!
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#143 User is offline   grrthetree 

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Posted 28 July 2007 - 08:31 PM

Rambo, deff.

Jack Bauer has NO CHANCE, he would get pwn3d.
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#144 User is offline   captain blue 

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Posted 28 July 2007 - 09:06 PM

dude Jason Bourne would own chuck.
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#145 User is offline   DvS21 

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Posted 28 July 2007 - 10:13 PM

no one period.


Chuck Norris once invited all of the other BAD BUTTOCKSes from TV to duke it out in order to see who was the supreme BAD BUTTOCKS. Only two showed up-- Jack Bauer and MacGyver.

MacGyver immediately tried to make a bomb out of some Q-Tips and Gatorade, but Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the solar plexus. MacGyver promptly threw up his own heart.

Jack Bauer tried to use his detailed knowledge of torture techniques, but to no avail: Chuck Norris thrives on pain. Chuck Norris then ripped off Jack Bauer's arm and beat him to death with it. Game, set, match.

If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period. and that is the only thing that can beat Chuck Norris.

Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.

There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist.

Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.

The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer

Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.

Chuck Norris is my Homeboy.

Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting.... CHUCK NORRIS GOES KILLING

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.


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#146 User is offline   armored_trooper 

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Posted 29 July 2007 - 02:44 AM

Chuck Norris has a teddy bear named Mr. Ruffles. Mr Ruffles has 9 confirmed kills.

Little kids pss their name in snow. Chuck Norris psses his name in concrete.
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#147 User is offline   Deranged Gecko55 

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Posted 29 July 2007 - 05:01 AM

Those are great. ^^
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#148 User is offline   dillz 

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Posted 29 July 2007 - 07:31 AM

I'm not sure who'd win but it would be a great fight good old chuck against none other than steven segal.
Sic vis pacem para bellum.
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#149 Guest_TM SNPR_*

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Posted 29 July 2007 - 07:34 AM

im not to much a fan of Steven Segal, but Chuck vs. Optimus Prime would be great.......
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#150 User is offline   Fallschirmjager Scharfuhrer 

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Posted 29 July 2007 - 07:35 AM

Jet lee, Till (lead singer from Rammstein), Me, John Wayne,
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